Food Shopping
by Sapphire93
Summary: To get them out of the lair and out of his fur, Master Splinter sends the boy on an errand. Food shopping. The boys have never gone food shopping before and are at a lose of what to do. One-shot. R&R please.


_Disclaimer: _I do not own TMNT or anything.

_Author's Note:_ Something random that I thought of while trying to write something else. I wrote half of this a while ago and I just finished it today. I decided to continue it in the format that I started it in, so this isn't really my best. However, the story itself is pretty good, if I do say so myself. Enjoy!

Food Shopping

"Alright," Leo sighed. "How do we want to do this?" Leo asked his three brothers as they all walked into the grocery store.

"What do you mean? Don't we just go in, get what we need, then come back out again?" Mikey grabbed a shopping cart and tried climbing in.

"I mean, who wants to get what?" Leo slapped him in the head and taking the cart into his own hands.

"How long is the list Master Splinter made for us?" Donny took the list from Leo's hands.

"Why do we have to do this, anyway? Master Splinter usually does the shopping." Raph leaned against the doorway, with his crossed across his chest, annoyed.

"I think we were bothering him." Leo replied.

"So he was just trying to get us out of the lair?" Mikey wondered.

"Exactly," Leo nodded.

Donny was looking at the list, as though he was counting all the items that they needed to get. "We should split this up."

"Hence why I asked who wants to get what and how we should do this." Leo stared blankly at the smart one.

Donny began to rip up the list so there were four pieces of paper and handed one piece to each of his brothers. They all studied their own list.

"Ugh. Let's get this over with." Raph growled.

"Meet back here in an hour?" Leo suggested.

"It's going to take us all an hour to get food? I don't think it will take us this long." Mikey grabbed another shopping cart.

"Master Splinter takes a couple of hours when he goes food shopping." Donny pointed out, taking the cart away from Mikey.

"I'm going to need one, too!" Mikey glared at his brother.

"Master Splinter goes by himself, though. He doesn't have four people to split up and get things for him." Raph stated.

"Okay, just come back here whenever you have all your stuff." Leo said, not wanting to discuss this any further.

"Meaning…meet back here with our stuff paid or not paid?" Mikey wanted to be clear.

"Not paid. I'm the one who has the money." Leo replied.

"So why don't we meet over there? That way it won't look like we're stealing the stuff." Donny pointed to a spot before all the cash registers.

The three remaining turtles shrugged and agreed. The four of them all grabbed a cart and split up in four different directions. Without noticing their brothers, they all stopped to look at their list, looked around the store, then they all came back together again.

"Which way is the bread?" Mikey asked.

"I don't know where the milk is." Donny replied.

"Where do I get the cheese and stuff?" Raph asked.

"Do either of you know where the cat food is?" Leo wondered.

"I don't know where anything is." Mikey replied to his brothers.

"I don't know, either." Donny added.

"Don't ask me." Raph replied.

"This is going to be tougher than I thought…" Leo sighed.

The four brothers decided to travel through the store together since neither one of them had a clue as to what to do. Their first stop was the bread aisle. Mikey tossed the bread into the cart, without caring about whether it would get squished or not.

Leo had all four pieces of the list that Donny ripped up and crossed off the bread. "We should get the cheese next."

"Why do we need cheese?" Raph asked.

Leo paused for a moment. "To make sandwiches and stuff…? I guess."

"Who eats cheese in our family?" Raph asked, explaining what he meant.

"I like cheese." Mikey replied.

"You're weird. No one cares about you, anyway." Raph stated, as if Mikey didn't count because of that.

"I see it!" Donny shouted. "But it's behind the counter. I don't think we can go back there."

"Then why do they have it out if we can't even get it?" Mikey asked.

"I think we have to ask someone behind the counter." Leo said, watching all the other customers talking to the workers.

"Okay, Leo. Go talk." Mikey said.

"I don't want to do it. Why doesn't Donny go?" Leo asked.

"Why should I be the one to do it?" Donny took a step back.

"You found it first." Raph snorted.

"And you're the smart one. You know how to do this." Mikey replied.

"I don't know how to do this." Donny shook his head.

Raph was leaning against a shelf, sighing. "It would have helped a lot if Master Splinter explained to us how to do this sort of thing."

"I thought it was going to be easy." Leo shrugged.

"It's just food shopping. It's not that hard." Donny added.

"Raph, you go." Mikey said.

"Why me?" Raph glared at him.

Leo looked at the four lists. "You were the one who would've had to get the cheese, anyway."

Raph growled, but he went up to the counter, anyway. "Fine. The sooner I do this, the faster we can get out of here."

"28!" The man behind the counter shouted.

"Hi, I want some cheese." Raph walked up to him.

"Excuse me?" A lady behind Raph glared at him and held up her ticket. "I'm number 28."

Raph gave her a weird look. He didn't know what she was talking about. "Okay…" he turned back to face the man behind the counter. "I want cheese."

She pushed him out of the way and handed the ticket to the man behind the counter and started telling him her order.

"Psst! Raph," Mikey called to his brother, standing away from the counter.

Raph muttered something under his breath and walked back to his brothers. "This is stupid."

"We saw some lady come over and watched how she did it. She picked a ticket or something from over there," Leo pointed to a red machine where people were pulling paper out of it. "Then they called a number and she went up. There's no line or anything. You have to have to a ticket."

"They called number 28 and the lady went up there. She must have had the ticket that said number 28." Donny explained.

"So this is the world we live in," Raph glared at nothing. "I say again, this is stupid."

"Just go get a number!" Donny pushed Raph in the direction of the tickets. "Otherwise we're going to be farther before in line…"

"Hold your horses!" Raph snapped, but obeyed. He walked over to the red machine and just as he was about to pull a ticket out, a bunch of people cut him off and grabbed numbers. "Hey!" he shouted. "I was here first!" Muttering certain words under his breath, he snatched a ticket out of the machine and staggered back over to his brothers.

"You suck," Mikey laughed.

"Shut it." Raph glowered.

"What number did you get?" Leo asked.

"I don't know," Raph looked at the ticket. "59. 59?"

"31!"

Leo rolled his eyes. "Man, we're way down on the waiting list!"

"Well, you saw all those people who cut me off…it's not fair!" Raph protested.

"Well, you know. You are a ninja," Donny stated. "How could you be so slow?"

Raph glared at his brother while Mikey began to giggle again.

"Well, you're just going to have to stay here and wait." Leo shrugged not knowing what else to do. "We'll go finish the food shopping and you can wait for number 59 to be called." He began to turn the shopping cart around as Donny and Mikey began to follow.

"Wait, what?" Raph shouted. "I am not waiting here by myself. This is not my fault."

Mikey laughed. "It is your fault." He shrugged.

"You're right, Raph. You shouldn't have to wait by yourself," Leo glanced at Donny, who smiled.

"Thank you," Raph pouted.

"Mikey will wait with you."

"What?" both Mikey and Raph protested.

Leo and Donny began to walk away.

"Aw, this isn't fair." Mikey pouted.

"I'm not too thrilled about this, either." Raph glared at his little brother.

"33!"

"This is going to be torture." Raph sighed.

"Do we need anything down this aisle?" Leo asked, looking down the aisle.

"Cookies?" Donny wondered as he stared at the list.

"Cookies?" Leo repeated in disbelief and looked at the list over Donny's shoulder. "Oh, that's Mikey handwriting."

"I thought so," Donny agreed. "So, no, we don't need anything down this aisle." Donny walked over to the next aisle with Leo following.

"59!"

"Finally!" Raph stalked up to the counter and slapped his ticket on the counter in front of the worker. "Do you realize how long we've been waiting? This is an outrage!"

"What can I get you?" the man didn't even look at Raph.

"You're not hearing me, are you?" Raph glared at him. "You know, those tickets are stupid. This should be first-come-first-serve!"

"Sir, I have a lot of customers waiting. If you're going to order something, please order it as I have to get working." The man stared dully at Raph.

Raph paused before responding. He narrowed his eyes. "I don't like you."

"Likewise, Sir. Now what can I get you?"

Raph growled.

"Anything needed in the frozen food section?" Leo asked.

"Ice cream…no, wait," Donny paused. "That's Mikey's handwriting, too."

Leo sighed. "We need to hide that list from him…"

"I agree." Donny nodded.

"I already told you that I wanted cheese a little while ago. Remember that old lady shoved me aside?" Raph reminded the worker.

"So you want cheese? What kind?" the worker asked, ignoring all the other comments that Raph was throwing at him.

"And—what kind?" Raph interrupted himself repeating what the worker said. "What does that mean?"

"We have different kinds of cheese. Which kind would you like?" he asked.

Raph turned to look at Mikey, who shrugged his shoulders. "Um…what kinds do you have?"

The man took a deep breath and began to explain. "American, Swiss, Chedder, Colby, Colby Jack, Monterey Jack, Pepper Jack."

"Who's Jack?" Mikey whispered.

"Shut up," Raph glared at him.

"Or," the man stated dully. "If you prefer, there is some string cheese in aisle twelve."

Raph opened his mouth to answer, but said something else. "…Are you mocking me?"

"Oh, what about that cheese in a can?" Mikey perked up.

"Aisle two,"

"I'll be back!" Mikey tried to run.

"Get back here!" Raph snapped, pulling him back.

"Okay, so I believe that we're all done." Donny smiled at the list.

"Great! All we have to do is pay for it." Leo let out a sigh of relief. "That wasn't so bad."

"No, it wasn't. Personally, I think it was a lot easier because we left Mikey and Raph behind." Donny chuckled.

"Probably," Leo smiled. "However, I guess it was a little mean of us to leave the two of them behind like that."

"Us? All that way your idea," Donny raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, I guess you're right," Leo sighed. "Anyway, let's go find them so that we can pay and get out of here."

"Oh, wait," Donny stared at the list.

"What is it? Did we miss something?" Leo wondered.

"Ham," Donny looked at Leo.

"Wouldn't we get that with the cheese?" Leo asked.

Donny nodded. "Yeah, I saw it under the counter along with the cheese and turkey and stuff."

"Let's hope that Raph and Mikey haven't gotten the cheese, yet!" Leo began to race towards the other end of the grocery store.

"Uh, that kind." Raph pointed through the glass.

"American?" the man behind the counter asked.

"Sure," Raph shrugged.

"How much?"

"How much?" Raph repeated.

"Yes, how much cheese would you like?" the man sighed a little annoyed.

"Mikey, how much?" Raph turned to his brother.

"A lot!" Mikey smiled.

"Why am I talking to you?" Raph sighed and turned back to the man. "Define how much."

"Quarter pound, half a pound, one pound…you could get more if you want." The man rolled his eyes.

"Uh…two pounds? Does that sound good?" Raph wondered.

"Sir, why are you asking me?" the man shook his head.

"No, you're right. Just give me two pounds." Raph turned to Mikey. "Is two pounds too much?"

"Two pounds isn't that much." Mikey shrugged. "Two pounds in nothing," He began to flex his muscles.

Raph rolled his eyes. "But you're right," he looked at the man again. "Make it four pounds."

The worker gave Raph a strange look, but obeyed. He wrapped up the cheese and handed it over to Raph. "60!"

"Man that took a long time." Raph held the cheese in his hands and looked at Mikey. "Now where do you think Leo and Donny might be?"

"We're here!" Donny flagged them down. "Guys did you already get the cheese?"

"Yes we did," Mikey smiled proud.

"It took a while and it was tough, but we did it." Even Raph was smiling as he tossed it into the cart.

"Shell!" Donny exclaimed.

"What?" Raph glared at him. "It was tough. All that waiting, then what kind, and then how much…it was a lot of work."

"We need ham, too." Leo sighed.

Raph glared at them. He turned back to the man behind the counter. "Give me ham, too."

"Was your number called?" he asked.

Raph's eyes grew wide. "I was just here a minute ago! How can you not remember me?"

"I remember you. I remember all my annoying customers." The man glared at him. "However, I called a different number as you stepped away from the counter. Your turn is officially over and you need to go take a number if you would like to get more items from here." He turned away from Raph and looked out into the crowd. "61!"

Raph grumbled more choice words under his breath and walked over to the tickets. He picked one out and stared at it. He staggered over to his brothers and handed Leo the ticket.

"97. Have fun waiting. I'll be in the car." Without saying another word or waiting for a response from any of his brothers, Raph turned right around and exited the grocery store.


End file.
